Yes, I know I opted-in, but your constant messages asking for money are driving me crazy.

This magazine has virtually called the election for Senator Barack Obama of Illinois, so what I am going to say here may seem counter-Obama. But, it has to be said.

While his margin of lead in the American race for president slips steadily from 8.0% over John McCain to about 6.0%, I’m beginning to wonder if Obama’s constant requests for “just $5″ and “one final push” of campaign fund-raising is beginning to drag on potential voters.

I’m taking a poll in the office later today to see what people think. Our office is a particularly pro-Obama space, even given the fact that we all work in finance. Which is another reason I don’t believe this hype that a likely Obama victory is what has sent down the stock markets these past few weeks.

Obama comes across as an inspiring leader. But here’s where his “linked-in” mentality to this young voting base gets on my nerves. Ever since I signed up on the Obama website to download his flashy iPhone app, I’ve been barraged with messages from Obama, from his wife Michelle, from Joe Biden, his senatorial and sartorial and foot-in-mouth vice president running mate.

Here is a sampling of a few of them.

Give me Money, or Give me Death

The Obama family and campaign is up in the polls, but I get this message on early this week. It’s from my man, Barack Obama, who sat down on Obama One, his presidential plane, kicked up his shoes and typed me out an email:

Douglas –

The next 6 days are going to be the toughest we’ve seen, and I need your support to reach as many voters as possible.

Donate $5 or more today to strengthen this movement for the final push.

This campaign is in your hands.

Thank you for everything you’re doing,

Barack

I wrote back.

O! How’s it going, man! Great thing you did there in Ohio recently. Love the way you are handling the Joe the Plumber thing. Sorry I can’t splash out anymore money on your campaign, but hang in there, man! I look forward to seeing you strolling down Pennsylvania Avenue in January! Good luck and keep up the good fight.

Your bud,

Douglas

I thought that would keep his spirits up. But then I get this other email 17 hours ago on Thursday, from Biden. It’s grim. Apparently, Obama did not take my friendly email very kindly. He’s brought out the big guns:

Douglas –

Last night, Barack took to the airwaves to make the case for real change. He used the time to tell the stories of ordinary people who need real solutions to their problems.

The presentation reached its finale with Barack addressing the nation live from Florida — I’ve included the video of that moment below.

But right now, I need to ask you for help.

We just learned that the McCain campaign and the Republican National Committee had a $20 million cash advantage on October 15th. That means we can expect to see a fierce blitz of negativity in the final days — so-called “robocalls,” mail pieces, and TV ads filled with smears and false attacks.

He then asks for five bucks.

Joe,

Hey. Sorry I have not been in touch. In fact, have we ever met? I’m not sure. Anyway. I know things will look a little bleak for you around this time. What, with Joe the Plumber coming out and remarking about “Death to Israel…..” WTF???

But I gotta tell you. I have credit card debt, my man. I have to pay off a loan, as well. I just bought a new bed in February, and that is almost paid off. In fact, I’d feel better about the whole money situation if I actually had my own place. But I’m renting. You know how it is. Manhattan! Crazy elitist liberal blue state prices!!!!!! AWkward!

Anyway, gotta go. You’re a tough cookie, so I am sure you can pull through. Give my love to your wife. Wait, have I met your wife?

Best,

Douglas

Then Michelle Obama chimes in a few hours after Biden:

Douglas –

I know this campaign has asked a lot of you….

That’s why I’m asking you to dig deep and make one final donation to help get us across the finish line.

This is getting awkward.

Dear Michelle,

Hi! So good of you to write. Okay, this is going to be weird. I know that you are Barack’s right hand woman. I know he loves you. America loves you. You shop at J. Crew and everything.

But I can’t give you any money. Yes, I’m sorry. No, it’s really unfortunate. I wish I could just call you up and tell you, give you some words of encouragement. I know you only raised US$150 million in September and you really need to spend a lot of money to convince old people in Florida that Barack is not a Muslim, or a terrorist sympathizer, but maybe you should have planned that out better.

As I told Joe earlier today, and I don’t even know Joe, right, I don’t have the cash! I have to actually go on a trip to Europe later this year, because that’s where my family is from and nobody in my immediate family has ever been to the old country. I’m sorry. I just can’t afford it.

Best,

Douglas

I’m going to go check my email now.

I feel like the guy at lunch whose friends never bring their lunch money, and I’m always having to “dig deep into my pockets” to find some extra change for a shake or french fries. Dude, at some point, you have to say enough is enough!

photo credit: surface to air